April 3, 2008

I eventually got a new dermatologist at Aberdeen Royal Infirmary’s dermatology unit.  I saw him a while back and he put my prednisolone up to 40mg.  He also suggested that I might benefit from high dose prednisolone infusions.  So, he consulted the head of dermatology in Aberdeen and he agreed.  The treatment basically consists of going into hospital and receiving very high doses of prednisolone over a period of three days.

Yesterday evening I got a phone call from the hospital saying that they had been expecting me to go in that day - first I’d heard!  Anyway, we have arranged that I will go in on Tuesday.  This is good for me because I’ve got no work for next week.

Also, I made a list of some of the links I use for my toiletries shopping:  Natural toiletries and cosmetics.

Yesterday, I had my interview for the summer job at the libraries.  As usual I said lots of inappropriate things - what is wrong with me?!?  I open my mouth and rubbish just spews out.  I’m still hopeful about getting the job though.

14 September 2007 September 14, 2007

Well, it’s been a long time.  I’ve been busy with work (it feels nice to be able to write that).  I’ve been working 34 hours a week, but commuting time to and from work makes it much longer, and makes me feel much more tired.

I’ve been eating well.  The breadmaker is wonderful, and apart from homemade bread my diet is very close to being entirely organic.  I’ve also lost a wee bit of weight.

The rather generous wage I get from the council has meant that I’ve felt more able to spend money on quality toiletries and make up.   Of note have been Dr Hauschka’s Moisturising Day Cream (lovely and light) and Living Nature’s Dawn Light (a good match for my pale skin).

I was prompted to post today after receiving a comment from  Lloyd from Nappies Direct about their Naty products.  He has kindly pointed out that they have a new website dedicated to Naty products:  Naturalised.  I’ve bought, but yet to try some Naty sanpro.  They look and feel a bit more substantial (in a reassuring way, rather than a bulky way), than the Natracare sanpro, so hopefully they’ll do a better job (couldn’t really be worse!).

Yesterday,  for the first time I missed a dose of my Cellcept.  I’m not sure how serious a problem missing a dose is.  I felt a bit faint today, but that could have happened anyway.

20 June 2007 June 20, 2007

David Miliband (would his socialist father be proud of him?) launched the Government’s CO2 calculator today. I tried it out, but got part way through then it froze - not a good start! I then tried the HTML version, it was painfully slow … and then it crashed and I gave up. Maybe it’s just launch day teething problems and heavy use.

—

I’ve been trying out some samples of Supersalve Skincare Balm. Ingredients, as listed on the website:

 

‘Calendula (Calendula Officinalis), St John’s Wort (Hypericum Perforatum), Lavender (Lavandula Officinalis), Tea Tree (Melaleuca Alternifolia), Clove (Eugenia Caryophyllata), Camphor (Cinnamomum Camphora), Eucalyptus (Eucalyptus Smithii), Rosemary (Rosmarinus Officinalis), Aloe Ferox Leaf Extract, Shea Butter (Butryospermum Parkii), Evening Primrose Oil (Oenothera Biennis), Wheatgerm Oil (Triticum Vulgare), Olive Fruit Extract (Olea Europaea), Apricot Kernel Oil (Prunus Armeniaca), Grapeseed Oil (Vitis Vinifera), Honey (Mel).’

The website is simple, but quite good, it has a fair bit of information on the ingredients and the debate around ‘natural’ products, although some of the most interesting stuff is hidden away.

Before I looked at the ingredients I would have said that it smelled of honey, but with honey so far down the list I think it must be the power of suggestion making me thing that.

I’ve tried it on my elbows (dry!) and my face. It’s a light cream; I thought it would be too light for my elbows, but it seems to be softening them up, pretty quickly too. It felt lovely going on my face and was absorbed well - no greasy feeling at all.

It’s not particularly cheap, but it’s not horrendously expensive either at £14.95 for 175ml tube.

—

This week, in a change from the norm, I did the (online) grocery shopping at Asda. They seem to have quite a good, big range of organic food, but not in all sections. There’s a fair amount of organic fruit and veg, but I was hard-pushed to find a packet of organic biscuits.

—

Came across the Recycled Products Guide on my travels through t’Internet today. It’s a search engine /directory for finding recycled products. Looks like it might be quite handy.

—

I got my official letter from the library with my start date etc. I’m still scared.

—

The hospital came through for me and I have an appointment for Monday afternoon with a consultant, although it’s not clear whether I’ll be seeing my consultant or not.

12 June 2007 June 12, 2007

 I missed updating yesterday, mainly due to a certain kitten-shaped distraction!

Kitten update

Boo still isn’t happy with the newcomer, but she’s tolerating her (bar the odd hiss and spit).  Boo is clearly the boss and the little one knows her place!  The newcomer still doesn’t have a name, although Miss Kitty, Missy and Kitty seem to be being used. She is small, sweet, confident and looks like a silent movie star (she looks like she’s got little pouty, bow lips). She and Le Dog are getting on well. When I got up yesterday morning they were sleeping side by side at the top of the stairs. Ha, she looks huge in this photo, but is in fact very dainty.

She’s been sleeping a lot and doesn’t seem very interested in playing, so we’re a wee bit concerned that maybe she’s poorly or depressed.  Then again, maybe she’s just tired out by all the upheaval she’s been through recently.

 

Health

I’ve been woozy-headed the past couple of days.  It’s difficult to describe how it feels.  Sometimes it just feels like the world is shimmying, but other times it feels like the world isn’t real.  I’m hesitant about mentioning the latter feeling to either my GP or my consultant - I don’t want them to think I’m (even more) bonkers-crazy.

I have some little raw blisters on my back, but mostly I’m going through a healing phase.  My armpits are quite swollen.  Presumably this is because my lymph glands have to work overtime to get the pred and other drugs out of my system.  I don’t think having my period at the moment helps all this.

 

Natural /Eco Living

I ordered a big-ish bag of soapnuts - I’m officially a convert!

I got a 10 pound off voucher for Lakeland, so I’m going to use it on a kitchen compost crock when the store finally reopens in town.

I got as far as choosing my veggie box, then discovered that it had to be paid by cheque, by post.  This is a pain.  I have a chequebook … somewhere, but I’ve no idea where (who uses cheques these days?).

I see that Tesco is now offering the option of delivering groceries un-bagged, just in the plastic delivery trays - hurrah.  Slight problem in that this isn’t available in all delivery areas, including mine.  I will however be keeping a look out for this option in the future.

 

 

9 June 2007 June 9, 2007

So I’ve been trying new, more environmentally-friendly products to replace the things I’ve been using for years:

Natracare

I’ve been really keen to find an alternative to bleached and plastic-y sanitary towels. As I’ve mentioned before I’m a fan of the idea of washable, reusable cloth sanitary towels, but practically - and for the sake of saving my blushes - I am eschewing them (for the moment). So, I turned to what seems to be the next best thing: Natracare. Natracare are non-chlorine bleached, perfume-free, plastic-free and over 95% biodegradable. Great I thought and ordered some super pads with wings. The arrived and immediately I was pleased to see that they are packaged in a cardboard box and the individual wrappers are paper not plastic - excellent from an environmental point of view and because they are consequently quieter to unwrap (hurrah!). Upon looking at the pads themselves I was disappointed and slightly concerned. Despite being ’super’ pads, these are thin - not ‘good thin’, but ‘worryingly thin’. In fact they are thin and narrow, which makes them a bit unreliable and not really suitable for people with very heavy periods nor for night-time use. This is such a shame, because the idea is so good. Fair enough, most women would probably be fine with them, but they really aren’t comparable to the non-environmentally friendly ’super’ pads.

Naty also make ECO Sanitary Towels so I’m going to give them a go, but they don’t seem to be as readily available, online they are available from Nappies Direct and, if you’re lucky enough to be in their delivery area, Waitrose and Ocado.

Soapnuts

For me, it was quite a radical move to try soapnuts instead of washing powder/liquid/tablets, I really can be very cynical about some things especially if I don’t understand them. Despite my cynicism I was keen to find an alternative, eco-friendly laundry product. I had been using non-biological tablets - sometimes Ecover or Tesco Naturally, sometimes not. Anyway, I got a wee sample of soapnuts and gave them a go. They go in the washing machine in a little cloth bag (tied tightly). I’ve been washing at 30 degrees on a short cycle (39 minutes including spin). I’ve stuck in everything no matter how dirty and stained and everything has come out as clean or cleaner than it would have with tablets. The little bag of soapnuts smells horrible when it comes out of the wash and is damp. Let’s be frank: it smells of pee, but the washing itself smells fine, quite pleasant really. I haven’t had to resort to putting any essential oils in the drawer, but I know that it is an option should I want my clothes to be fragranced in the wash. I’m a convert and will be buying a full sized bag asap.

6 June 2007 June 6, 2007

 

Excuse for having a random picture of cherries: I have been gorging myself on cherries. I think I might be going overboard on the cherries and pineapple at the moment, but I am making the most of summer.  I have such a sweet tooth.

I’m a member of a support group for people with pemphigus and someone on the group was asking about just how rare a disease it is. It’s something I’ve wondered too, with regard to pemphigus foliaceus. I know that PF is rarer than pemphigus vulgaris, and there is consequently far more information out there about PV than PF. Anyway, I got down to a little bit of research and found that there are approximately 0.5 - 1 new cases of PF per million people each year in Western Europe. Now Scotland has a population of 5,116,900 (GRO Scotland 2006 estimate), so there should be 2.5 - 5 new cases of PF each year in Scotland. In 2006 I was one of those people, and the same month and in the same city there was another new case of PF (a man about the same age as me).

With regards to all the new toiletries I’ve been trying: I am an absolute convert to homemade skin toner. I’ve been using witch hazel and rose hydrolats and they’re marvellous. So much nicer and seemingly far gentler than toners I have previously used (Simple, Clinique, Avene …).

I’m going to be slightly less evangelical about Burt’s Bees products. I tried the Garden Tomato Toner, but it would take a lot to impress me now when it comes to toner. It was okay, but to be honest I wouldn’t bother - make your own instead! I love the smell of Burt’s Bees products, and I like that the company is so open and honest about its ingredients and it’s desire to use natural ones. Having said that a lot of the products seem fairly interchangeable … what is the different between the lip balms / glosses and the cuticle creme? They look and feel identical and smearing my lips with cuticle creme and my cuticles with lip gloss seems to work as well as doing it the ‘correct’ way round. Actually, the raspberry and cherry lip glosses smell okay in their pots, but they tasted of nothing when on - it was impossible for me to tell them apart. The Milk and Honey Body Lotion sounded nice, but it’s a pretty light weight lotion and doesn’t smell particularly ‘milk and honey’-ish, in fact it is the one item by Burt’s Bees that I’ve tried where the scent was a let down. The Citrus Spice Exfoliating Shower Soap smells very much of orange and cinnamon, but it’s quite a masculine smell. As an exfoliating soap it did its job and well - it was just scratchy enough. Overall, the range - or at least what I’ve tried of it - has left me distinctly underwhelmed.

I found my turquoise earrings.  Mum had them - I give her most of my earrings on ‘long-term loan’, so her jewellery box is the first place I tend to look for things.  I love the colour and they go well with my favourite pashmina, but my main reason for my sudden desire for turquoise jewellery is for its believed healing properties in crystal therapy (see The Skeptic’s Dictionary to see what a load of nonsense it probably is).

Last night, with my headache still lingering and while I was adding stuff to the online grocery shopping, I spotted 4head.  It’s a little stick thing a bit like a stubby chapstick that you rub on your temples to help get rid of headaches.  It’s something that has been around for decades in varying forms and under different names - Mum says she can remember it from when she was a child.  So, I added some to the trolley at about £6 … then I went and looked at its ingredients: 100% levomenthol.  As far as I can see, levomenthol is a form of menthol, which comes from … drum roll … peppermint oil!  I immediately took the 4head out of the virtual trolley and ordered some carrier oils via  eBay instead - much cheaper and I’ll have the satisfaction of having made my own headache relief.  I’m really beginning to believe that peppermint oil is a bit of a must-have essential oil.

I got my Disclosure Scotland enhanced disclosure certificate.  It’s official: I have no criminal record or cautions, nor does the government hold any ‘relevant information’ on me (in other less coy words: I’m not a sex-offender).  Of course, I knew all this already, but it’s good that it’s official and that I now know ‘They’ haven’t messed up and confused me with someone less well-behaved.  It also means that the city council have no reason not to officially offer me the library assistant job that I interviewed for back in April.  The council had written to me to tell me that I was their ‘preferred candidate’ (although I presume I wasn’t the only one to get that letter), but that I had to get clearance from Disclosure Scotland before any job offer could be made.  I just hope it’s not all too late and that someone else hasn’t beaten me to it.

4 June 2007 June 4, 2007

I had another appointment with the nurse this afternoon.  She was happier with my blood pressure, but I still have to go back again in two weeks.

Then I got the bus into town.  Lakeland was closed, so I couldn’t buy a compost crock for the kitchen - a bit of a disappointment.  I managed to make up for my failure to spend money on a crock by filling a basket full of goodies in Holland and Barrett.  I bought:  Cinnamon Spice Yogi tea (very cinnamon-y!), Nairn’s Ginger Oat Biscuits, Nairn’s Fruit & Spice Oat Biscuits (yum), tea tree oil and a bag of mini Eat Natural yogurt covered almond & apricot bars.  I bought a couple of books on natural remedies and a couple of magazines (Natural Health and Organic Life) - it was nice to see that WHSmith is trying to reduce the number of plastic bags it gives out.  Then I went in to Markies to buy a Fathers’ Day card for, well, my dad, but I was totally distracted by their fruit and ended up spending a small fortune on fruit salads and cherries instead.  I also bought a couple of their natural/healthy meals - a chicken one and a pork one.  I had the pork and mash meal for my tea and it was perfectly palatable, although the pork was a little low on flavour, but maybe that’s just pork.

I made a bit of a fool of myself in trying to catch a bus home.  I got really angry when my bus sailed past me as I stood at the bus stop … trouble was I was standing at the wrong bus stop - gah, I am such an eejit sometimes.  I went and had a fresh juice (raspberry, pear and pineapple - couldn’t taste the pear at all) at a juice bar, calmed myself down, then I called Dad and he gave me a lift home.  Why is it so hard to let go of both anger and embarrassment?  I’m sure that positive, ‘nice’ emotions don’t linger in the same way that the negative, nasty ones do.

I watched Perfume last night.  What a weird film.  Mum and I were discussing it at lunch time.  I think she understood the metaphors a bit better than I did.  I was going with some sort of idea about hedonism ultimately being unfulfilling, but to be honest I haven’t a clue what it was about.  I think it probably needs a second viewing … or maybe I need to read the book.

I finally got Imperfectly Natural Woman by Janey Lee Grace yesterday.  I pretty much read it from cover to cover in one sitting.  It’s good in that it gives lots of website and product recommendations.  I’d have liked to have seen more in depth information to support the suggestions, at times it read a little like a list of Janey Lee Grace’s Internet bookmarks.

Right from the start Janey (I feel like I know her now!) is frank about being “imperfectly natural”.  In the book there are little profiles of other ‘imperfectly natural people’.  Most of these people seem to be people in the natural living industry rather than people who just live their lives naturally.  Maybe I’m cynical, but I did find it amusing and ironic that some of these people seem horrified at the thought of drinking unfiltered water but were smokers (or had ‘just given up’).  Surely the chemical in cigarettes must be some of the worst we can possibly put in our bodies (bleached paper, arsenic, formaldehyde, lead … the list goes on and on)?!?  Oh, and cigarette filters are bad for the environment - they can take from 18 months to 500 years to break down! (Btw, that last link goes to a pdf file.)

I certainly didn’t agree with it all.  For one thing I think it is pretty irresponsible not to vaccinate children - this is another thing that repeatedly comes up in the profiles.  It’s not something I’m going to budge on.  I just need to look at what measles can do to convince me that childhood vaccinations are absolutely a good thing.  If anyone is in still doubt about the MMR vaccination, then there is an good (NHS) website I’d recommend looking at: MMR the facts.

Overall, I think that if the book is read with some healthy skepticism and you’re prepared to look for more detailed information yourself, then I’d recommend it.  It’s an easy read, ideal for dipping into, and it’s also very easy to warm to the author.

30 May 2007 May 30, 2007

Well, now I feel bad (and rather embarrassed). Julia Hailes commented on my last post. I guess my response is that I don’t want the people I look to for advice to be less than perfect. I want them to be model greenies. After all, if Julia Hailes can’t be green, then how can I? I suppose I am idealistic and overzealous as only a newbie can be. As for the plastic bag thing, it just goes against all my instincts. The statistics are shocking and go against everything I believed. The Worldwatch Institute also notes that neither plastic nor paper bags are good for the environment, backing up Hailes’s assertions.

I imagine that the ideal solution is to use neither, but rather to opt for almost infinitely reusable hessian / cloth / string bags. Anyway, I am going to get hold of the book, and I will read what she says … and I will try to keep an open mind. I promise.

The mere mention of plastic bags brings on feelings of guilt for me. I do the household weekly shopping online from Tesco (yes, that evil corporate monster that is destroying local communities - I feel guilt over that too), and every week my shopping is delivered in gazillions (quite possibly not an exaggeration!) of plastic bags many of which contain just a single item. I just don’t understand why they do this. The plastic bags themselves are transported in plastic pallets. I do return the previous week’s bags for recycling, but there must be a better way of doing things. We plan on ordering our first veggie box next week, so hopefully we’ll gradually wean ourselves off the convenience of Tesco home delivery.

I’ve been doing a little, informal, uneducated eco-audit of my life. I’ve used online carbon-footprint calculators to figure things out, and I am suitably disgusted by my household results. My Dad flies a lot for business and refuses to off-set, because he claims that off-set schemes are seriously flawed. He may be right, but doing something is better than nothing surely? The house I live in is an environmental nightmare. It’s old and poorly insulated for a start. We have an Aga that has two settings: very hot or off. About 90% of the light bulbs we use are not low-energy. Electrical equipment regularly gets left on standby (not by me though). On the plus side, we recycle like maniacs. I’m not sure whether our wood-burning stove is a good or a bad thing. It heats the house well, and the wood is from well managed sources. My understanding is that wood is a carbon neutral fuel, but a quick search reveals some debate on the pros and cons of wood-burning. I don’t drive, nor do I fly. I use buses, trains and my own two feet. I do get driven places though, like my weekly lunch out with Mum or my occasional trip to the pictures or garden centre with Dad. There is plenty of scope for improvement!

Changing the subject: I slapped on the Marshmallow Vanishing Creme last night. It’s quite solid in the pot, and then when I put it on it seemed like there was an oily part to it which smoothed on well, then a solid part which sat on my skin and was trickier to get rubbed in and absorbed. That’s not a very good explanation, but it’s the best I can muster. My skin didn’t feel especially moisturised afterwards. I think I might have to look for a moisturising lotion rather than cream, my skin must be drier than I thought. Suggestions are welcome.

I lieu of doing any exercise today (because it was peeing down outside and the dog was being awkward … and to be honest I was feeling lazy), I vacuumed. It’s so silly that something so small drains me of all energy. These drugs and this illness are a pain. I woke up with more blisters on my legs. This is getting me down a bit. It did cross my mind that my new healthier lifestyle may be boosting my immune system (not good). Alternatively it could be stress or something totally random.

Dad has me doing some unofficial research on natural disasters in South East Asia. It too is depressing me. It’s so much easier to live in ignorance.

BP: 112/91 (am)

29 May 2007 May 29, 2007

Today’s post brought tainted joy and outright disappointment. I got my NCIS dvds (woo!), this was marred by the customs fee I had to pay (grr!). Serves me right for ordering dvds from the US with a massive carbon footprint. I also got my Burt’s Bees Marshmallow Vanishing Creme that I bought via eBay. Instead of the regular sized pot that was shown on the auction listing I got a teeny tiny sample pot that is probably enough for one use. Serves me right for ordering moisturiser from Hong Kong with a massive carbon footprint. I’ve never done it before, but this time I left negative feedback, the listing was deliberately misleading imho, so I don’t feel too guilty about it. I am slightly worried about retaliatory negative feedback though - it would spoil my 6+ years of perfect, whiter-than-white feedback.  Ooh, I received an email from the seller offering me a free lip balm if I withdrew my negative feedback … um, no I have plenty of lip balm and not enough moisturiser!

Now my problem is whether to buy a bigger pot of the Marshmallow Vanishing Creme or to find a different facial moisturiser. I bought a wee pot of ‘base’ moisturiser to add essential oils to from Naturallythinking, but I’m not keen on it. It doesn’t seem very moisturising for a start. Also, looking at the ingredients list for it - it doesn’t look all that natural to me! It works quite well as a mattifying cream, but I’ve had to go back to my chemical-filled No7 Hydration Day Cream, until I can find something natural that actually works.

I’ve been looking for a book - or books - which give advice on environmentally friendly living and came across The New Green Consumer Guide by Julia Hailes.  It’s an updated version of a book written in 1988 by Hailes and John Elkington.  It looked like it might be a book worth borrowing from the library, but then I looked at Julia Hailes’s website.   She is supposedly an expert, but she does seem to be a bit of a fair-weather greenie.  Plastic bags aren’t really all that bad and she’s fine with being green so long as it doesn’t cost her anything.  I was disappointed.  I want my green-leaders to be beyond reproach.  I still might look out for the book, and I’ve added her blog to my blogroll, but I’m not convinced.

Today is a bad day with regards to the pemphie.  I have blisters.  I noticed last night that I had little blisters at the sides of my boobs where my bra underwires had been rubbing.  This morning I woke to find one on the inside of my right forearm and one on my right knee.  These are all places where I seem to be particularly prone to getting blisters.  I’m not going to put on any steroid cream, instead I’ve burst the blisters and put on some witch-hazel hydolat.  Prompted by this latest flare up and my lack of anything natural to put on the blisters that would target them more specifically than the witch-hazel, I did some Googling and found no natural alternatives to steroid creams.

While Googling I did come across something called colostrum, which as far as I can tell is found in breast milk (human and animal), and which helps strengthen and balance the immune system.  I’m going to have a bit of a root around and see if I can find out a bit more about it and whether it really does work.

BP: 130/80 (pm)

28 May 2007 May 28, 2007

Ugh, ugh, ugh. I had an appointment with the nurse today. My blood tests came back fine, but my blood pressure was still a little high, so I’ve got to take it twice a day for the next week and take it in to her next Monday. It was something like 140/90 when she took it today, but I did it this evening and it was was fairly normal (130/80 or thereabouts). My heart was pounding when I was in seeing her, I just get so anxious.

I got a catalogue for Burt & Daisy through the post today. They do natural, organic skincare, beauty, baby and cleaning stuff. On the off chance that anyone ever stumbles upon this post and actually reads it here’s the offer they sent me with the catalogue (I’ve not tried it, so can’t guarantee it works, nor have I ever ordered from them so I can’t vouch for them personally):

“Receive £2.00 off your next order when you spend over £25! Just quote/enter Voucher Coder BD5234Z when you place your order, either online or by telephone. Valid from 1st May to 31st July 2007. Feel free to share this great offer with your family and friends.”

Also, I liked that the catalogue says it is printed on recycled paper with vegetable dye inks.

I’m not feeling very well today. My nausea is pretty bad and my stomach is churning. I can’t think that I’ve eaten anything particularly out of the ordinary: banana for breakfast, Quorn chicken burger, boiled tatties and salad for lunch, then Tesco Naturally Good Chicken Dijonnaise Tagliatelle (I picked the broccoli out - I’m such a child) and a chocolate Skinny Cow lolly for tea … nothing there that seems like it could make me ill surely. It’s probably the Cellcept, but the stomach churning is something new. My travel sickness bands are doing nothing today, but I am persisting with them. I was asking Mum about natural things which are good for nausea we didn’t get any further than mints and ginger, but she did say that she has a homeopathy book somewhere upstairs which might have some suggestions. Despite my skepticism about homeopathy, I’m willing to give anything a try right now.

Last night I once again fell asleep to my guided visualisation mp3. I’m never going to find out what the third exercise is at this rate. I’m still not sure how the second one ends. I remember my wise, healing thing being a rabbit and imagining myself lying on a warm bit of granite (which was remarkably comfy in my imagination) outside a little wooden cabin in the middle of some woods, then nothing. Fast asleep.

I cracked open my packet of Sante facial cleansing wipes this morning. They’re okay. I’m not keen on the fact that they require you (me) to rinse my face after use, this hasn’t been my practice in the past when using Simple facial wipes (but then again maybe I’ve been doing it wrong all these years!). They smell nice and feel nice, but they’re perhaps a little on the dry side. I’ve added some of the Tesco BNatural facial wipes to this week’s shopping, so I’ll see what they’re like and get a proper look at the ingredients list after they arrive on Thursday. I also added some Bionsen deodorant to the shopping. It’s one of these spritzy mineral deodorants where you add water to some crystals - it sounds more complicated than it is, I’m sure.